What No One Tells You About What Dads Go Through During Postpartum

Because they go through it too, even if no one’s talking about it.

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No one really talks about what happens to dads after the baby arrives.

Everyone’s checking in on the mom (rightfully so), cooing over the baby, bringing meals, asking questions about sleep and feeding. But the dad? He’s standing quietly on the side, holding everything together, or at least trying to.

And he’s going through dad postpartum, too.

He watched the person he loves bring life into the world.

He stood there, maybe helpless, maybe scared, watching her scream, cry, bleed, tear, shake, sweat, and stretch herself wide open in the most vulnerable, powerful, and painful way possible.

And no one asked him how he was feeling about that.

He’s holding space. And holding back.

After birth, he’s doing his best to support her through the fog of postpartum. He’s running back and forth for snacks and water, adjusting pillows, changing diapers, and trying to soothe the baby so she can nap. He’s Googling things he never thought he’d Google at 2 AM.

But he’s also quietly holding his breath. He doesn’t want to add to her load. He doesn’t want to say he’s tired, too. 

So he pushes his own feelings down.

He’s torn between two worlds.

He wants to be there for every sleepy stretch, every skin-to-skin moment, every first coo.

But he also knows he has to go back to work. The bills are real. The pressure is real. And he carries it silently,  often with a smile, while his insides twist with guilt for not being home more.

He’s figuring it out, too.

He doesn’t always know how to bond with the baby right away. 

He’s scared he’ll do something wrong. He worries about doing “enough.”

He’s wondering if his partner sees how hard he’s trying.

And he might be grieving the old version of life, even if he’s madly in love with the new one.

Yes, dads go through postpartum too.

But nobody really says that out loud.

The truth is, postpartum isn’t just a mom thing. It’s a whole family thing.

Dads experience real emotional and mental shifts after a baby is born. They might not bleed or breastfeed, but they’re being stretched in ways they’ve never been before. And they deserve support, too.

According to a study, up to 10% of new dads experience postpartum depression (Paulson & Bazemore, 2010). Some newer research suggests it might even be closer to 1 in 4. But because society expects dads to “man up” and stay strong, most never say a word. And most don’t get the help they need.

Let that sink in.

And still, when we talk about what dads go through during postpartum, some people roll their eyes.

One comment on our post said:

Another joked:

Not just because they dismiss men’s pain, but because they shut down real conversations about mental health in fatherhood and the reality of postpartum depression in dads.

Talking about what dads go through during postpartum doesn’t take away from what mothers experience. It adds depth to the whole picture.

Moms deserve support. And dads need it too. It’s not either/or. It’s both/and.

And when we create space for everyone’s postpartum experience, families are stronger for it.

So here’s what we want you to know, Dad, during this postpartum journey:

We see you.

We see the way you show up, even when you’re running on fumes.

We see how you’re holding your family together while figuring out how to care for yourself, too.

We see the love in the diaper changes, the 4 AM feeds, the grocery runs, the middle-of-the-night pep talks.

We see the sacrifices you’re making. And the silent pressures you carry.

And we want you to know, you don’t have to do this alone.

At Haven Place Doulas, we’re not just here for moms.

We’re here for you, too.

Whether it’s learning how to support your partner emotionally, navigating your new role, or just having someone to talk to who gets it, we’re in your corner.

We believe dads need just as much care in the postpartum season. Your feelings are valid. Your exhaustion is real. And your presence matters more than you know.

So if you're a new dad in Boston or anywhere in Massachusetts and you're feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, or just looking for a little support during the wild ride of new parenthood, reach out.

We’re here for you. And we’re cheering you on.

You’ve got this, Dad. And we’ve got you.

Looking for postpartum support for both you and your partner? Reach out to Haven Place Doulas, proudly supporting families across Boston and Massachusetts with heart, care, and zero judgment. 💜