On My 31st Birthday, Here's What My 13-Year-Old Self Would Think: A Birth Doula's Story

Birthdays have a funny way of making you look backward before you look ahead.

As I celebrate my 31st birthday, I can't help but think about the 13-year-old girl who dreamed a little differently than everyone else.

She was fascinated by pregnancy.

Curious about birth.

Completely captivated by the medical world.

While most teenagers were thinking about school dances, I was watching medical shows, reading about childbirth, and asking way too many questions about how babies came into the world.

Looking back...

I don't think she was weird.

I think she was already finding her purpose.

She'd Probably Ask Me a Million Questions

If my 13-year-old self could spend just five minutes with me today, I don't think she'd start by asking how old I am.

She'd probably ask,

''So... did we do it?"

"Are we helping bring babies into the world?"

"Do people actually trust us?"

The answer would be yes. More than I ever imagined.

Today, I'm both a birth and postpartum doula, and I've had the privilege of supporting more than 100 births.

Even writing that feels surreal.

Because when you're 13, numbers like that don't mean much.

But now they represent something so much bigger.

More than 100 families.

More than 100 moments where someone's life changed forever.

More than 100 reminders that birth is never ordinary.

She'd Think I Have the Coolest Job in the World

Honestly... she wouldn't be wrong.

She'd probably think it's amazing that my phone can ring at two o'clock in the morning because someone's baby is on the way.

She'd laugh knowing I keep a doula bag packed and ready to go.

She'd think it's exciting that no two days ever look the same.

She'd probably tell all of her friends, "She gets to go to births!"

And she'd leave out the part about being awake for 30 hours.

Or eating dinner at midnight.

Or trying to squeeze in a shower before heading back out the door.

Some things are more exciting in theory than they are at three in the morning.

But somehow...

It's still worth it.

She Wouldn't Believe How Much This Work Has Changed Me

At 13, I thought birth was about babies.

Now I know it's about people.

It's about mothers discovering strength they didn't know they had.

Partners finding confidence in themselves.

Families learning to trust their instincts.

Parents meeting their child for the very first time.

Those are the moments that stay with you.

Not because they're dramatic. Because they're deeply human.

Every birth has taught me something. Not just about labor.

About courage.

Patience.

Grace.

Trust.

And what it means to truly show up for another person.

She'd Be Surprised That I Don't Have All the Answers

I think when we're young, we assume adults eventually figure everything out.

Spoiler alert.

We don't.

After supporting more than 100 births, there are still moments that challenge me.

Birth still humbles me.

Families still teach me.

There are still days I leave a birth reflecting on what I learned.

And honestly...

I hope that never changes.

Because the moment I stop learning is probably the moment I stop growing.

She'd Be Proud of the Things No One Else Sees

She might think the biggest accomplishment is supporting over 100 births.

Or becoming a certified doula.

Or starting Haven Place Doulas.

Those are milestones I'm incredibly grateful for.

But I don't think they're what would make her proudest.

I think she'd be proud that I never stopped caring.

That after every long labor...

Every unexpected turn...

Every sleepless night...

I still answer the phone with the same excitement I felt all those years ago.

I still believe every family deserves to feel informed.

I still believe every parent deserves to be heard.

I still believe birth deserves compassion.

That part of me hasn't changed.

She'd Never Guess What This Work Has Given Me

People often assume doulas give so much of themselves.

And we do.

But this work has given me just as much in return.

It's given me perspective.

Purpose.

Friendships.

Humility.

A deeper appreciation for families.

And countless reminders that people are capable of far more than they think.

I've watched parents do things they never believed they could do.

I've watched fear become confidence.

I've watched uncertainty become strength.

I've watched love appear in a room before a baby even takes their first breath.

Those moments have shaped me just as much as they've shaped the families I've supported.

I'd Tell Her to Keep Dreaming

If I could sit beside my 13-year-old self today, I don't think I'd give her a long speech.

I'd simply tell her:

Keep asking questions.

Keep staying curious.

Keep believing that birth matters.

Not because everything will go exactly the way you imagined.

It won't.

But because the heart behind your dream is going to stay the same.

You're going to learn that birth isn't just about welcoming babies.

It's about helping people feel safe.

Helping them feel heard.

Helping them trust themselves.

And one day...

You'll realize that's exactly where you were always meant to be.

Here's to the Next Chapter of My Birth Doula Story

Thirty-one feels less like arriving somewhere and more like turning another page.

When I look back, this birth doula story isn't just about supporting more than 100 births or becoming both a birth and postpartum doula. It's about becoming the person my 13-year-old self hoped I could be. Every family I've met, every lesson I've learned, and every birth I've had the privilege of witness has shaped not only the doula I am today, but also the person I'm still becoming.

I'm incredibly grateful for every family who has trusted me, every baby I've had the privilege of welcoming into the world, every partner I've watched grow into parenthood, and every lesson birth has taught me along the way.

If you've been part of Haven Place Doulas' story in any way, thank you.

Whether you've welcomed me into your birth room, invited me into your postpartum season, followed along online, or simply taken the time to read this blog, you've become part of this story too.

Here's to continuing to learn.

Continuing to serve.

Continuing to grow.

And to making 31 another year of showing up for families with compassion, education, and an open heart.

Because if my 13-year-old self could see me today...

I think she'd smile.

And honestly...

I think she'd already be asking where we're headed next.